So you’ve already exchanged names and you have taught your name (see previous post) to the other person; what’s the next thing that usually happens when you meet people?  One of you says, “So what do you do?”  And everybody, of course knows, that you are being asked how you spend most of the hours of your day – usually in a work or professional setting.

Generally,  people respond with their professional or work identities – usually framing the response with their  title, occupation, organization, or industry.  “I’m a Department Head for Human Resources at XYZ Corporation,” or “I’m a teacher,”  or “I work for ABC, Inc.,” or “I’m in the textile industry.”   And 18+ years of training from our mothers’ has taught us to smile politely, nod our heads and say, “Ohhhh.”  Meanwhile, one is left to think “What the heck does that mean?” or worse, “So what?” 

Answers like these are conversation stoppers and, quite frankly, BORING!  I don’t know about you, but I have a preconceived notion about what a  corporate department head or a teacher is.  Do you want to begin this relationship upon someone else’s preconceived notion about who you are?  I certainly don’t. 

Here’s a 2 sentence formula for crafting an answer to “What do you do?” that will make you memorable and will strategically set you on the path to achieving your networking goals.  (I can see the thought bubble over your heads.  “What is this “strategy” and “goals” thing?  I thought this was a spontaneous conversation!  Well,  I’m going to have to quote Lynne and Anne* here:  “Sometimes you have to plan to be spontaneous!”  Yep.  That means, you have already crafted  your answer BEFORE you get to the networking event.)  Okay.  Here’s the formula:

1. The first sentence is the one thing you want people to know about you.  The one thing you want them to remember. 
2. The second sentence is very short and gives an example of how you served your client, solved a problem, or saved the day.

You want to paint a vivid picture in the other person’s mind so she or he really understands what you do.  But, you also have to relate this back to  your networking goal.  My best example comes from personal experience.   When I first started my own business, I had a very clear idea of what I wanted to do.  I wanted to do some training; I wanted to do some keynoting; I wanted to do some coaching; I wanted to do some consulting, some group process facilitation . . .  you get the idea.  But I couldn’t very well say all this as a means of creating an understanding about what I did.  After all, I did not want anyone to have their first impression of me be that of a babbling fool!  There was time for that later.

So I had to rethink what I was going to say because, remember, answering “What do you do” creates the first impression of you.  You’re making an indelible impression on the people that you talk to, so you don’t want to talk about something you don’t like to do, something you don’t want more of in your life.  (For example, I was a fairly successful grant writer but I hated doing it, so I did not include it in my answer to “What do you do.”)

 So, figure out what you do want more of in your life and make that the topic of your example – crystal clear so that a 10-year-old could understand it, no jargon, very simple, short. 

And one good formula for your example is to say something like “recently” or “last week.”  It gives it a sense of immediacy whether it happened last week or last year. 

So with all that said, here is thought process that when into how I crafted my answer to “What do you do.”  Although I had a variety of activities that I was doing – training, keynoting, coaching, etc. – the common them among those activities was change.  I certainly don’t create the change, but I like to think that I am instrumental in helping individuals and organizations move toward and through desired change.  I facilitated change.  A colleague suggested the pithy “Helping people get from where they are to where they want to be” and I thought that captured everything I wanted to say.  That is the one thing I want you to remember about me.  My answer to “What do you do” creates intrigue and invites the other person to ask me more about it.  I then go on to elaborate by giving an example of how I served a client, solved a problem, or saved the day.  So a realistic example of how this formula plays out (remember the 2 sentence formula at the beginning of the blog?) would go something like this:

“I help people get from where they are to where they want to be.  Recently I worked with a group of non-profit administrators in crafting policies and procedures for emergency preparedness and disaster response for their agencies.”   It’s important to note that you should tailor the second sentence to your audience.  I might say in my second sentence that “I am working with a local coalition on systems collaboration and design that will have a long term impact on workforce development and economic sustainability.” 

Your homework task – I always assign homework when I’m facilitating change – is to take a look at how you already answer the question, “What do you do?”  Does it really capture what you want others to know about you and what you want to keep doing more of?  Give it some thought and let me know how you are doing.

In a future blog post, I will address the third key moment in networking:  answering the questions, “How are you?” or “What’s New?”  If your answers are, “Fine” and “Nothing,”  you need to read the next blog to ensure that your answer isn’t a conversation or relationship stopper.

*All of my networking material is based on Lynne Waymon’s and Anne Baber’s book Make Your Contacts Count.   Contacts Count (www.ContactsCount.com) is the premier consulting and training company specializing in teaching professional and business networking skills.  I had the privilege to train under Lynne and Anne a while back.

I recently had the pleasure of speaking to the Peninsula Women’s Network.  My topic was “When Bad Networking Happens to Good People.”  All of my networking material is based on Lynne Waymon’s and Anne Baber’s book Make Your Contacts Count.   Contacts Count (www.ContactsCount.com) is the premier consulting and training company specializing in teaching professional and business networking skills.  I had the privilege to train under Lynne and Anne a while back.

One of the first things that I tell any audience is that networking is a critical competency for employees in today’s workplace.  It is as critical as any Business, Economics, Math or Grammar course that one takes in undergraduate school.  Yet, I haven’t run across any four year college curriculum that teaches networking skills.  So it’s no wonder that we all have different ideas on what networking is and how to do it.

In any networking venue, there are 3 key moments.  In this post, I will talk about the first key moment.

The first key moment is learning names.  Teaching someone your name (I said teaching not telling) and learning someone else’s name.  Most people, me included, have been guilty of saying, “I can never remember any one’s name!”  First of all, I want to tell you to take the “n” word out of your vocabulary.  Second, let me tell you how I introduce myself, which sets the stage for the other person to introduce herself. 

Lynne and Anne taught me to think back to Forrest Gump.  Remember how he introduced himself?  He said, “I’m Forrest,  Forrest Gump.”  Saying your first name twice gives people 2 opportunties to hear it.  So I usually say, “I’m Belinda, Belinda Willis.”  The next thing that I say has to do with my ensuring that you heard me correctly.  I’ve gone through 50+ years of people calling me Brenda, Melinda, Linda, etc.  Becuase of that, I follow up by saying, “It’s Belinda with a B.”  That gives the person another opportunity to hear my name and associate it with a letter.  Often times after I give a workshop on networking, somebody will invariably see me in another arena and refer to me as “Belinda with a B.”  And that’s great, because someone has remembered my name.

In a future blog post, I will address the second key moment:  Answering “What do you do?”  I’ll bet you think you already know how to answer that question.  Stay tuned.  I plan to show you how to tell what you do in a way that doesn’t limit you to talking about your employer or what your name plate says.

By the way, Lori Jakubow (pictured with me above) is an artist and she actually is wearing one of her pieces around her neck.  You can reach her through her website at www.LoriJakubow.com

Once in a while I have the opportunity to be on the other side of the podium as a workshop participant. In that case, you can bet that I’m taking notes about everything that is going on in the room, not just the training subject matter. From my participant’s seat yesterday, I noticed several things, that I would like to point out, that might enhance your next training day by making it more productive – not just a great opportunity to get out of the office for the day. If you know me, I try to teach (and live) intentionally by using purpose-driven behaviors. So, look for that theme in this list.

1. Arrive Early  – Yep, early. Not just on time. I’m the person sitting in the parking lot reading the newspaper and drinking my coffee. I do better at life when I am not hurrying – spilling my coffee, smashing my fingers in the car door, tucking my skirt into the back of my pantyhose. When I arrive at the training venue, I unhurriedly walk in, find my seat, put my stuff down, hit the restroom, wipe the lipstick off of my teeth, sit down, look at the training materials, and take a deep breath that helps me be present to the day.

2. Pick Your Seat – Another reason to arrive early. I don’t know about you, but I am a visual learner. I benefit from seeing the PowerPoint slides up close and looking at my handouts while the presenter is speaking. I am also highly distractible, so I try to sit in the very front so I’m not caught up in watching the people who are sitting in front of me.

3. Bring a Sweater – Or a jacket. I think it was Isaac Newton who said, “At any given workshop venue, someone is going to be cold and someone is going to be hot.” And yesterday, even though it was 100 degrees in Hampton Roads, it was cool inside where the workshop was. Yet, a couple of people got cold and proceeded to prop open the outside door, which not only allowed the flies to come in, but also made the air conditioning system work harder because of the increased temperature. How GREEN is that?

4. Plan For Down Time – I am sometimes dismayed at the liberties that training facilitators take with MY time by not beginning the workshop on time, starting back after breaks at the agreed upon time, or taking longer for lunches. So, I plan on using that time to answer emails and return phone calls. After that’s done, and if I’m still waiting, there is always something in my work bag that I can read. If you are comfortable networking, maybe you can use the down time as a networking opportunity. (See #5)

5. Use This Day as a Networking Opportunity – Let me risk shattering a popular belief: Networking is NOT about seeing how many business cards you can give away and how many you can collect so you can take them home and put a rubber band around them. Networking is about building relationships. Sit with someone you don’t know and introduce yourself. Instead of naming your organization or your occupation, in response to the inevitable question, “So what do you do?” describe what you like about your job. What gets you blissed? What are you particularly good at doing? Listen for future opportunities to reconnect with your new contact after the training event so that you can get your name in front of them again. Make yourself memorable to them – in a good way, please – so that they actually are looking forward to the time when you connect back up with them. (Stay tuned to this blog for more on networking strategically.)

6. Be On Your Best “This Could Be a Potential Job Opportunity” Behavior – You just never know where people are going to turn up next, so you want to make sure you are always demonstrating your character and your competence in a professional arena. So, yes, I was watching you texting beside me during the whole training time yesterday, and thinking, “You would never work for me!”

7. Plan to Follow Up on Your New Contacts – Remember that contact that you started building a relationship with? When you were initially talking to him, you were planning for this moment – the Follow Up. Is there an article that you’ve read that you could send to him? Is there an opportunity, product, event, contact that you might send his way? You probably also talked about some non-business stuff; so now is the time to send along the information about the local rugby league, the new mall, the personal trainer, the drumming circle, etc.

8. Plan to Follow Up on Your New Learning – Any time I facilitate a training event, I always take time at the end to ask participants, “What will be different as a result of this training?” I know that I have been guilty, as a workshop participant, of closing up the training material at the end of the day and either leaving it in my car for a week, or setting it in my Inbox “to look at later.” Professional development is one of those “capacity building” functions. You need to make time to intentionally plan your capacity building activities into your schedule and not in the “when I get around to it” category. How will you and when will you use the new skills that you learned? (More on Capacity Building – another time, another blog)

9. Fill out the Feedback Sheet – They asked for it, right? The facilitator really does want to know that the font on the PowerPoint was too small to be readable, or that she can only say, “So how ‘bout this?” so many times and be able to get away with it. Maybe you thought that additional details about a particular point would have been helpful. Help out future workshop participants, by clueing in the facilitator to her annoying facial expressions, her excessive use of jargon or acronyms, or the need for her to put an end to distracting side bar conversations from participants. Be gentle.

10. Each One Teach One – One of the best ways to reinforce new learning is to teach it to someone else. I used to require staff, who went to training events, to come back and do a brief presentation to their colleagues on the subject of the training. This not only cut my staff development budget way down, but it also ensured that some of the learning made it into the next day and to other people. If you now have hives from the thought of doing some public speaking, stick around. I’ll address that in another blog one day.

For  more information about Belinda, contact her through her website at www.BHWillis.com